There’s only one week left to get in on the fun at ye old Arizona Renaissance Festival and Artisan Marketplace in Gold Canyon, AZ. Over the last 35 years of operation, they’ve certainly fine tuned the thrills and grandeur of their 50 acre, 16 stage event and made it into a must-do of Arizona’s springtime season. All of that to say, unless you’ve been and know your plan of attack, it pays to be prepared to get the most out of your trip back in time. 

Logistics

Thankfully, you won’t be relying on the travel methods of old to get there. Unfortunately, the two lane road in and out of the festival grounds is usually very backed up on event days. Seems like a no-brainer, but what Google Maps says will be a 40-minute drive will quickly turn into 2-hours or more as you wait to get into the parking lot. 

Speaking of technology, most of it won’t work out in Gold Canyon. The cell service is somehow also themed to the event, so it’s a good idea to download the map of the festival grounds from their website before you go. 

Finally, if you’re what would be considered a peasant like me, you’ll want to get tickets at the cheapest price possible. Stop in at any Bashas’ or Food City in the valley to snag your tickets at a discount.

Pro Tips

Unlike the Halloween parties of your teenage years where costumes were seen as lame, at the Arizona Renaissance Festival dressing up is the name of the game. Break out the wardrobe staples like armor, gowns, swords, shields, goblets and flower crowns – or rent them onsite. Rent adult costumes for $35-65 and child costumes for $15-25. Otherwise, you really miss out on the immersive (albeit slightly sweaty) experience. 

If nothing else, remember to bring cash. There’s very few ATMs onsite, and most everything you do there will require some paper. You can use plastic with private vendors, but onsite food/drink is all cash-only. Performers live off their tips, so make sure to toss a coin to your witcher lest you get cursed.

Personal Favs

Huzzah! You made it through the boring stuff. Now let’s plan the fun. One of the best things about the Arizona Renaissance Festival is the endless amount of entertainment. One of the worst things? You guessed it – not being able to do it all in a day. Make sure to check their schedule of events prior to your visit to secure your must-dos and look over what’s new. With that in mind, save some time on research and check out some of my personal favorites. 

Recommendations for Shows

Like most top-tier entertainment, the shows at the Arizona Renaissance Festival involve comedy improvisations with the opportunity for the occasional risqué joke. In my opinion, that’s the best part! But for those with kids, or those who only want medium fun, avoid the shows listed as “LC” (Loose Cannon) on the schedule of events. 

• The Ancient Art of Falconry: majestic birds, what more is there to say?
• Barely Balanced: comedy and acrobatics that will either make you hold your breath in suspense or lose it from laughing so hard.
• The Ded Bob Sho (LC): literally a man and a skeleton telling some of the raunchiest jokes you’ve ever heard. The best. 
• Adam Crack – Fire Whip Show: do chains and whips excite you? Same. 
• Cirque du Sewer – Trained Cats & Rats: what’s most people’s nightmare is one woman’s greatest accomplishment – rodents and rescues crawling over you as you walk a tightrope. 
• Three Guys & a Bunch of Drums: it’s performed in a mud pit which is pretty cool. 
• Joust to the Death: the peak of renfaire entertainment is pretty horses and men stabbing each other with long sticks. There are other shows in the arena, but the last one of the day is the most bloody (and arguably the most entertaining).

Recommendations for Food

The Renaissance Festival has an endless amount of food and drinks to keep you fed and fancy. They have everything from soup bread bowls to coffee and croissants. However, it’s always the most fun when your food matches the vibes. Here’s what I would recommend to get you through a day of people watching and shenanigans. 

• Turkey legs: you can’t go wrong with a classic. 
• Mead: again, another classic. Just for the adults though. 
• Chimney cake: basically the Renaissance Festival’s version of Disneyland’s churros. 
• Caramel apple: for those with a sweet tooth that want to keep the doctor away.

  

Recommendations for Activities

Between the incredible shows and marvelous vendors, there’s also activities sprinkled throughout the festival grounds that immerse you by getting you involved. Here are some of my top picks.

• Vegetable Justice: you literally get to throw old tomatoes at someone. You can’t beat that type of entertainment.
• The Dungeon Museum: walk through a dungeon and learn about all different types of torture used throughout the years. Sorta creepy, sorta cool. 
• Ren Escape Rooms: really what these are best for are escaping the heat since they’re all inside. But still, fun to use your brain and work as a team. 
• The Maze: basically a nod to an all-time faire favorite. 

TLDR

The Arizona Renaissance Festival is a magical, memorable, immersive experience that you don’t want to miss. But it pays to be prepared just like any other event. Dress the part, pack some cash, plan your route through the festival grounds and fare thee well!